Whole
by Moxie-Proxie
Summary: I dreamed of Kyle being taken away by people with too perfect smiles and grief in their eyes that shimmered like an oil slick. Just laying on the surface, an illusion of emotion. Grief in their eyes that didn’t go near their hearts. [Lori,Josh]


For once in his brief, socially inept life, my little brother had come up with a brilliant idea. Genius really, not that I would tell him so. He was dating Andy and that had given him an ego the size of California, no sense in making it bigger. He might explode if it grew much more, but even I had to admit Andy had a point.

"We need to adopt, Kyle," he said, coming into my room without asking again.

"Yes Josh, come in. Sit on my bed. How was dinner - adopt Kyle?"

I'd hardly looked up from my guitar until those words sunk into my thoughts.

"Andy gave me the idea tonight, dinner was great by the way. Her moms are amazing."

I looked at him, raising my eyebrow in suspicion. My little brother, who got extremely uncomfortable around gay people, was now claiming that Andy's parents were great? And where did he learn the word amazing?

"Hey," he shrugged, "a guy can change, and Lainey makes a killer chocolate cake."

That made me chuckle, Josh loved cake. Ever since he was little, chocolate was his favorite. I liked this guy my brother was becoming, funny, charming. My geeky little brother might turn out to be quite the catch in a few years. Who would've thought?

"So Andy thinks we need to adopt Kyle?" I strummed my guitar lightly while I thought it over.

"Yeah, she suggested it. She said somethings need to be made official." He paused, picking at a fray in his jeans. "I think she's right, we need to make him ours. We need to be more than just his guardians... if..."

"If somebody tries to take him away again?"

I didn't need him to look at me to know it's what he meant. I worried about it too, had nightmares about it still. Even though he'd been home for months now. I dreamed of Kyle being taken away by people with too-perfect smiles and grief in their eyes that shimmered like an oil slick. Just laying on the surface, an illusion of emotion. Grief in their eyes that didn't go near their hearts.

"Do you believe him," I paused my strumming, "what happened to the Peterson's?"

"No," he didn't even take a minute to consider it. "I don't buy any of it."

"Kyle left too easily, that's how I knew they weren't his parents. If they really were, Kyle would've hesitated more. It's like he knew he had to go."

"Which is why I think it's important we adopt him," his eyes were intense, dark in a way I'd never seen before, "I don't think the Peterson's - whoever the hell they are - they're not the only people looking for Kyle."

That's enough to make me want to move, I set my guitar on the bed and walked with Josh out of my room. He doesn't hold my hand, but in a way I wish he would. His fingers brush mine as we walk downstairs and out of instinct I take his fingers in mine. Held on, because I need to. Needed to know that we were doing this together. Because if we adopt Kyle it's all or nothing. If there really are going to be more people out there looking for our brother - an I don't doubt Josh's theory - we're going to have to face the consequences.

We're putting our hearts on the line again, for someone that's already bruised them once.

Josh just sent me a smile, never asked me to let go. I could've hugged the crap out of him just then for that little half smile.

"You sure you still wanna do this?"

We're standing in front of mom's closed office door, and for just a minute I considered walking away. Walking away from Josh and pretending the civil, adult conversation from twenty minutes ago never happened. Then I looked down the hall at the dozens of framed photos that decorated the walls. Hideous pictures of me from when I was in grade-school, family portraits I always had to be coerced to participate in, and then - in a small three by five frame - our very first photo with Kyle. It was my birthday, the birthday I had shared with him over a year ago because he didn't have one of his own. We're all crowded around the dinning-room table, the candle flames making little flares in the photo. Kyle's sitting next to me just beaming, like I've given him the best present in the world. A birthday.

I know we gave him so much more on that day. We gave him a family, a future. But looking at the photos; Kyle's first school photo at sixteen still makes me smile - he looks so happy and proud just to be there - I saw something I hadn't noticed before. Kyle moved into a house with four people just living together and actually made us a family. He made us whole.

"He's like the missing puzzle piece," Josh said, leaning against the wall behind me.

"You so just stole my metaphor," I smiled, touching the photo from our shared birthday. My favorite. Josh didn't have to ask me again what I wanted, I beat him through the door.

_Note: This is set directly after my other Kyle piece, "Understanding". And while they do have guardianship of Kyle, the Tragers have yet to formally adopt him as of episode 2.07 "Free to Be You and Me"._


End file.
